A Party Night in Saunaclub Funpalast

I really only go to FP when there is a party…

Funpalast Wien

As I have stated already in my last Saunaclub comparison post, I prefer GT over FP but occasionally visit Funpalast when there is a party. Funpalast parties are held pretty much every 2 weeks (to keep FP alive, I think) and at those parties the place is mostly pretty full, both with girls and ice bears. The last one I was at was on Friday 22nd. February 2013 and the motto was:

“LUFT & SEX” – which means “Air and sex”

Since it was the beginning of the weekend, they were open until 6am in the morning, which is cool.

How many girls and what do they look like?

At parties there are usually between 60 – 80 girls but given the seasonal circumstances and the generally bad economy in Austria (and the world for that matter) they have downsized a bit as it seems. I estimate 50-60 girls on that day which was plenty and there were some real nice chicks among then and I would say something for every guy’s taste.

Outfits of the Girls

Two words: poor outfits almost all of them!

I have criticized the fact that in FP the girls do not have a clear rule of how they must be dressed because as a result they come in all kinds of dresses which mostly are nothing than a poor display of… well, rather a good display of terrible taste in clothing. Plus almost all outfits were black. I have made a point in my Saunaclub comparison post that I think the general color scheme of Funpalast is way too dark. Well, good job in emphasising this by allowing all girls to dress in black!

Funpalast Brothel Wien

But to be fair, some people may say it looked awesome and it is a great idea in general because black is cool but please just know that I think it is hideous and a turnoff too!

Between my last visit in FP and now not much has changed but the girls have. Many of the girls who I knew as regulars were not there this time and I saw a lot of new chicks, most of which were pretty, hadn’t it been for the lack of fashion style. Again I compare GT and FP and the optical quality of the girls is still better in GT. If I would have to rate, I would give the following…

Grades on Average Looks of the Girls in Funpalast

10 is the highest grade and 1 is the lowest

  • Overall look of the girls: 6/10
  • fashion taste of the girls (dresses and accessoires) 5/10
  • body and hair of the girls 7/10
  • variety of the girls 7/10

Friendliness and general Mood of the Girls

I have seen better but also far worse than this time. The girls were not exactly thrilled by the number of guys who were there for the party but they were still pretty cool and laid back. At least as far as I could tell. They all were friendly enough to me and I heard no smite comment or any girl talking down to me or swearing of any kind because I wouldn’t take her to the room. That is definitely an improvement to what I have experienced there in the past.

The Food at this Party Night – the “Show Cooking”

Bordel Sex Vienna

The Funpalast food on a party night is much better than on regular nights. There is no doubt about that, everybody will confirm it. In fact on a party night the food is real good, although they ALWAYS serve the same stuff. They serve:

  • grilled fish
  • pork chops
  • potato chips and wedges
  • rice with vegetables
  • fresh salad
  • some assorted grilled sausages
  • pork spareribs
  • chicken wings
  • sometimes Kebap
  • some meat on a stick, mostly chicken 

The fish is pretty popular and runs out fastest. The show cooking starts at 7pm and lasts until morning as long as there is food. Before 7 pm they have a brunch like buffet which is not that great.

Who did I bang on yesterday’s party?

Let me tell you right away that I had a fantastic night which 2 of my best performances and sex acts in my history :)

That is special because in Funpalast there was always a high chance of epic failure in the room for me. For what it is worth, it is just my opinion and experience and lots of people probably state the opposite.

1st leg and 1st Choice Dana

Dana is a stunningly looking blonde beauty with very long legs, an angel face, a warm smile and all else what it takes, Maybe the boobs are a bit too… nonexistent… but apart from that she is real pretty and popular. She was booked solid as was expected. Many guys I talked to recommended her to me above most others. This changed my mind in her favor because I had initially thought she may be an ice queen.

So I saw my chance early in the afternoon and grabbed her with just a tiny bit of small talk to ease the mood but with the clear intention to bang her and start a great night. Oh Yeah, a great night it was but not thanks to Dana, I have to say. So we retired to one of the rooms on ground level.

Dana looks a bit like an ANGEL with her blonde locks and the slender body and the cute and warm smile. She claims to be from Moldova and she looks like she could be from there but I have my doubts. I think she is Romanian, maybe from the region which has the same name. But that is not important as I love my Romanian girls anyway. When she undressed, I was a bit disappointed because she really is very flat boob wise. Really nothing there. Sometimes I like that but in that case it was a bit of a turnoff.

Well, Dana is a very professional girl and she acts as if she likes every customer even if she clearly doesn’t care much… Good, that I am a seasoned veteran and can tell in a split second. Or maybe… it would have been better not to notice immediately, maybe the illusion would have made it more enjoyable for me. After the first minute I had figured out that Dana has a routine in the room which probably works on most guys but I personally don’t like most of the things she does. Without describing it all, I guess there is only one thing to say: She acts like she is super horny but immediately grabs the rubber when she starts to blow. I begged but she wouldn’t do bareback french. :(

Second negative sign, she didn’t at all enjoy Cunnilingus. NUFF SAID!

But that is not why I didn’t enjoy it that much. It was the simple fact that she is super professional and that doesn’t do well for my dick. Simple as that, so first round was a write off and I headed back into the main area to grab some of the good food. After some sauna and some rest I was ready soon for…

2nd leg and insider tip Beatrice

In terms of looks and outfit of that day Beatrice was almost perfect. She came highly recommended by somebody who I met in Nightclub Maxim and who has pretty much the same taste in girls as I have. I value all his recommendations and come out a winner every time. Thanks bro, you know who you are!

Beatrice is tall, slender, has black hair and a perfect body with small boobs but much bigger and perkier ones than Dana. Also she has a great tan and is the typical Romanian beauty that could easily be a top model. I admit, she looks very reserved and cocky but once I started to chitchat with her it was going really well. After 10 minutes of talking we decided to go to the room in the tower which she liked because there’s some music there. I do not like those beds up there that much because they are only covered by curtains and everybody can take a look and watch us at any given moment. Also you hear the noise from the other bed next to it.

Anyways, Beatrice who was recommended only by 1 guy, mentioned guy from Maxim, but got bad grades by other guys who I talked to before, was FANTASTIC. She is so clean and delicate that I could literally eat her all day. Her French Bareback is quite good and she just makes me super comfortable at all times. Make no mistake and expect GFE. You will probably not get that. But she is  beautiful and a must for all of my next visits there. Real pity that I can’t show a photo of hers. I do not have one.

3rd leg – a little rest and the girl with no name from Constanta

A whort while after I got back from Beatrice and tried to take a small nap on the FP couches some girl whose name I can’t remember right now came and started to talk with me. I was tired and really not ready for a 3rd time yet and I told her.

She decided to stay a bit with me anyways and we had an unexpected chitchat about this and that. I can only describe her because I really can’t remember her name. She is a bit shorter than Beatrice and the body , although firm and great, is not as tight as Beatrice’s, a bit more boyish and she appeared to be a sort of tomcat. I guessed she said she is from Constanta but I am not even sure about that anymore. After a solid 20 mins of talking I asked her to come back to me 2 hours later as I really had to rest. By that time I was pretty dedicated to go to the room with her later and I did. Meanwhile I took the much needed nap for I don’t know how long and went to the Sauna afterwards. There was no poker entertainment on that day so I just wandered around, ate a bit, talked with some of the fellow punters there, laid down again, another Sauna leg and finally at about 3am in the morning I knew that I was ready now to spend the much anticipated time with her. She wasn’t available immediately but after a short while when I saw her wander into the buffet area I picked her up and made clear that I wanted her now.

So we went to one of the rooms on ground floor, had to wait a bit but not that long, and in we went. Usually I like to speak a few words of courtesy but we had that covered already and I was really ready for her. Unexpectedly kissing was not at all possible although I thought that the necessary chemistry was there but she never let me steal a kiss throughout the whole act. I didn’t let that bother me too much and I did my usualy slow foreplay which I need desperately on my 3rd go of the night, It was obvious that she fancied it quite a bit and when I went down on her she was already wet enough which you really can’t expect on a party night. So to not make the story too long, except for the missing French kisses which she denied out of principle (all 3 girls did NOT do kissing) this was half an hour of sheer passion and she never even tried to reach for the bottle of lube.

I am so pissed that I don’t remember her name but next time I am there I will find out and name her here. By far the best sex I had in a saunaclub in 2013 so far and she really is a pretty young thing to top the deal off.

Summary of this FP Party Night

For what it is worth, I still think that Goldentime is the much better place under normal circumstances. And I was at Funpalast Parties that were almost a disappointment too but this was was LEGEN … wait for it… DARY, and this even though Dana gave me a sub par performance in my opinion.

This night was a 9/10 sex experience in Vienna

Any thoughts? If you want to know what users think of this, then join the discussion on the Sex-Vienna forum: http://forum.sex-vienna.com/Thread-A-Party-Night-in-Saunaclub-Funpalast

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